I don’t know about where y’all live but around here in NC it’s been freakin’ COLD! This morning the low was 2. THAT’S TWO DEGREES FAHRENHEIT for those of you checking in from metric-using countries, and I don’t care where you’re at THAT’S COLD.
And as if you didn’t see this coming – my heater isn’t working.
I know. So poetic. It’s become so cold in my house that the cats are preferring us over the laptop as a warm place to sleep. Which, I’m not complaining, but it’s pretty darn unusual in this house. I’m used to having to pry them away with my hairbands (which are apparently the coolest cat toy in the world to them) so I can get work done, but not this week. I can’t wait until it warms up or I get my fireplace inspected – whichever happens first – so my furnace will quit running up my light bill for no good reason and I can get the space heater out of my kids’ room (since they’ve taken to sleeping in the same room now because my husband scared them a little TOO good the other day). You know it’s bad when you have to wear a toboggan in your house…
So while I’ve been hiding under the blankets on my couch, I’ve been spending way too much time playing voyeur on other writers’ lives rather than working on my own manuscript. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I reached 50k words the other day (and didn’t miss the chance to Instagram it) and researched what I need to do to land an agent, and wrote a pretty good blurb (that I sent in for a Pitch Slap at the Canary Review- fingers crossed that mine gets selected because that would be kinda cool).
However, I spent more time than I should have watching interviews with authors that have made it big with best seller lists and movie deals and their under-30 ages. It got me thinking about my own novel and whether or not it was good enough. I started asking myself questions like “will I ever attract an agent?”, “will I sell any books?”, and “will I ever realize my pipe dream of walking through the set of my own story?”. I worried that my novel was silly, or hokey, or too far out there. I hate feeling this way, but luckily I read through some blurbs of other novels and realized I really like the premise of what I’m writing. I’m writing what I want to read, and if I want to read this – if I feel it’s telling a story that you don’t hear a lot (even if it does include some tropes that some people are tired of) – then I’m doing okay. Isn’t that what a writer is supposed to do?
We all get bogged down by insecurities from time-to-time. It’s the nature of all creatives. It just boils down to how we handle it. So when you’re feeling down, step back and look at how far you’ve come instead of looking at how far you have to go and realize that you’re making something awesome. If you believe in it, others will too. So believe in the damn thing!
How do you break yourself out of a rut? I know I have followers out there. I see you on my dashboard. Speak to me. Tell me what you think. I’m dying to see “a new comment from…” pop up!